Anything To Add

Why must he poo everywhere?
Why must he pee everywhere?
Why must he bite?
Why must he tear paper into tiny pieces?
Why must he chew giant holes in the expensive sofa?
Why must he be incapabe of cleaning his own living space?
Why does he have it in for our snuggly blankets?

Honestly! We've only just managed to house-train Ste and now the bloody rabbit is being tiresome ;p

Would somebody PLEASE give me the ability to fall asleep right now. Otherwise i'm going to have to go and watch bad TV again and really thats not good for anyone. And could someone shave my head as well because i look utterly preposterous.


ETA: Somebody has severely let me down. I'm off to the TV.

The world is not designed for people who like to be awake during the night. I want to do my washing. Instead i am under my desk. Anyone would think maybe i was weird or something........

......It's very dark under here....


ETA: My back is on fire. Can you fix this?

......ground.......to......a.......halt.......!

Exams should never happen.
Ever.
End of.

Chloe: *Plays a note on the piano* Ooh deary me!

Naomi: Whats wrong? Is it out of tune?

Chloe: Yeah, i'm afraid so.

Naomi: But it shouldn't be!! The deaf man came and tuned it the other day!...........Blind! I mean blind!

http://www.politicalcompass.org/printablegraph?ec=-7.00&soc=-5.03

That little dot there, that would be me.
Chillin' out on the political compass along with Nelson Mandela, The Dalai Lama and Gandhi.
And thankfully a long way off from Hitler, Stalin and George W.

Where you at? Huh?
http://www.politicalcompass.org/

.....real country folk! Brilliant people. Tell it like it is. No consideration at all. Forgot all about this before.

Took one of Charlie's goats to the vet because it wasn't eating. Well, thats a lie, it WAS eating but then proceeded to froth at the mouth about 5 minutes later. It wasn't very attractive. The other goats were laughing at it. So something had to be done.
Anyway! Sitting in the vets waiting area, country farmer woman walks in, spies the goat and comes over saying "Hello goaty, whats wrong with you then?", sounding all concerned about poor little Liquorice. So Charlie replies "She's not eating her food at the moment so we wanted to get her checked out". Country farmer woman stands up and says very matter-of-factly "Thats what happened to mine last night. The bugger was dead this morning! Wasn't a goat though. Was a ram." And then proceeded to rant at the secretary about how she was up all night because the damned heifer kept blowing in the field (whatever that means).

So posh.
So country.
So funny.

"He's from SB, he's true blue, OI!
He's a piss-head through and through!,
He's a drunk or so they say,
He tried to get to heaven but he went the other way!!"

Trees, birds, sunshine, *Cough*Exams*Cough*, old friends, new friends, spinning in the tumble dryer, wheres the pool table gone?, wheres my gambling machine?, why am i not allowed into Hathern house any more?, tunnelling anyone? ;p

Important note to self: When you're feeling depressed as all hell, don't go and read the depression boards.
F*ck, f*ckity, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.
How am i meant to escape the badness when it's a part of me?
I hate that i have to feel this way.
I hate that i don't know how to get rid of it.
I hate that it will probably be on and off like this for the rest of my life.

It's very early.
It's very cold.
And i still can't sleep.
Therefore - Randomness!!!

Firstly - I only just remembered this brilliant quote:

"If i was handing out the Mogwai, and had to instruct people on the do's and dont's, i just couldn't resist the chance to make up my own rules. Like:
1) Doooooooooon't cover it in glue and roll it in sand
2) Doooooooooon't shoot it into space
3) Doooooooooon't place Mogwai in the way during 'Watercolour challenge' and then remove the Mogwai so that when the presenter comes back he say 'Why is there this Mogwai in your painting?!?!?'
No! Doooooooooon't do that"

Secondly - If you run like an idiot you will fall like an idiot.

Thirdly - When a parent has just witnessed their child being thrown from their horse and says in very anxious tones 'Oh no, i do hope she comes back in one piece!', it may not be wise to say 'Admittedly two pieces are more storable', followed by a folding/stacking motion.

.......THE CHAMPAGNE SUPERFAFF!!!!
Today i got angry. I got more angry than i've been in a long time.
THE WORLD HAS LOST THE PLOT AND IT SUCKS MAJOR ASS.
Anyway, i'll just tell the story and release the madness within, blah blah blah.
Tomorrow me and Charlie are running a sweepstake thing whatever for charity, and the first prize is champagne and chocolates. So obviously, we needed to buy the bloody champagne. Simple you would think. And yet - NO!
I live in the country. It's a long way to the nearest supermarket. About a half hour drive in fact. First time we went to the shop neither of us bought our ID. Admittedly this was entirely our own fault and so we couldn't really complain. but still, it was pretty damn irritating considering that i'm 3 years past being underage and getting ID'd all the time pissees us off majorly.
But anyway, we drive back to my house, i grab my wallet with my driver's licence in and we go back to the shop only to be told that we STILL couldn't buy the champagne. The reason? Because only ONE of us had ID. Apparently nowadays you, and anybody with you, had to have proof of age (which they decided not to mention the forst time we were there) just in case i'm secretly planning on giving it to the other person with me. HOW FUCKING RETARDED CAN YOU GET?!
We were then told that there would have been no problem if i had left Charlie in the car and come in to get it by myself. So we suggested that Charlie leave the premises and then i could buy it. But this was not acceptable either as apparently they now had reason to suspect that i might be planning on supplying it to her.

STUPID WANKING RETARDED COCKSUCKERS.

Also the two things that annoyed me the most about this:
1) If you're gonna buy alcohol for underage people - THEY DON'T COME INTO THE STORE WITH YOU, DO THEY? They go and stand on the other side of the road looking suspicious.
2) What kind of underage teenage drinker commissions someone to go and buy them 1 bottle of £20 champagne? NO KIND! Thats who. Maybe a six pack of beer, or some cheap wine or vodka. But not bloody champagne for christs sake.

I got rather irate. They got the supervisor over. I was so close to smacking her in the face because she was a total whore. Then i made her get the manager down. And then she referred to me as 'him'. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WOMAN?!?! How many men do you know that have breasts?!?! By which i mean normal breasts and not 'I'm an overweight man with man breasts, breasts'. Get some eyes, install a brain, and never, ever, ever be unfortunate enough to meet me in a dark alleyway because I WILL SMACK YOU.
Anyway, i digress. So basically we had to do yet another hours driving to get Charlie's ID also. Whereupon i proceeded to march into the shop, grab yet another bottle of champagne and parade straight past the dumb ass supervisor bitch woman waving it in the air.
And yes we got ID'd again. But she was too scared to come and face me herself so she had to send over the huge security guard. What a twat.
I hate her.
I hate stupid laws.
I hate society.
It's shit.

LESS LAW, MORE JUSTICE!

I AM SO BORED!!!!
So, so bored.
I need humans.
I need conversation.
I need ANYTHING interesting.
Well no.
Thats a lie.
I have interesting things.
I just need interesting people to share them with.
Oh. My. God.
My mind is giving up on me again.
Somebody please send me entertainment.

"Well i'm crazy as a fruit bat and i'm nuttier than a flapjack and i'll probably scare your children more than Dracula or Jaws, and i'm totally out of my tree and i only take drugs if they're free and i never have been this insane beforeeeeee"

"Cause i'm the only T, who can't do anything
I just lie in bed or fall of rocks
And if you ask me if i'm worth it
I'll tell you that i don't give a shit"

THANKYOU AND GOODNIGHT!

...this song is completely stuck in my head! The lyrics are good by themselves. But when you get to watch the cartoon vegetables singing it's even better hahahahaha!!

Narrator: "Joining Larry are Pa Grape and Mr. Lunt, who together make up
the infamous gang of scalliwags, the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything!"

Larry, Pa, Mr. Lunt: "We are the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! We just
stay at home and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just
tell you ..."

Larry: "We don't do anything!"

Pa: "Well, I've never been to Greenland and I've never been to Denver, and
I've never buried treasure in St. Louis or St. Paul, and I've never been
to Moscow and I've never been to Tampa, and I've never been to Boston in
the fall."

All: "'Cuz we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay at home and
lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you ..."

Mr.Lunt: "We don't do anything... And I never hoist the mainstay and I
never swab the poop deck, and I never veer to starboard 'cuz I never sail
at all, and I've never walked the gang plank and I've never owned a
parrot, and I've never been to Boston in the fall."

All: "'Cuz we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything! We just stay at home
and lie around. And if you ask us to do anything, we'll just tell you ...
We don't do anything!"

Larry: "Well, I've never plucked a rooster and I'm not too good at
ping-pong, and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall,
and I've never kissed a chipmunk and I've never gotten head lice, and I've
never been to Boston in the fall!"

Pa: "Huh? What are you talking about? What's a rooster and
mashed potatoes have to do with being a pirate??"

Mr. Lunt: "Hey, that's right! We're supposed to sing about pirate-y
things!"

Larry: "Oh ..."

Pa: "And who ever kissed a chipmunk? That's just nonsense! Why even bring
it up? Am I right? What do you think?"

Mr. Lunt: "I think you look like Cap'n Crunch!"

Pa: "Huh? No I don't!"

Mr. Lunt: "Do too."

Pa: "Do not!"

Mr. Lunt: "You're making me hungry."

Pa: "That's it, you're walkin' the plank!"

Mr. Lunt: "Says who?"

Pa: "Says the captain, that's who!"

Mr. Lunt: "Oh, yeah? Aye aye, Cap'n Crunch!"

Larry: "And I've never licked a spark plug and I've never sniffed a stink
bug, and I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball, and I've
never bathed in yogurt and I don't look good in leggings ..."

Pa: "You just don't get it!"

All: "And we've never been to Boston in the fall!"

Dear god the world has gone to far. If i want to paint my house, my car or myself in the colours of the English fucking flag then quite frankly i fucking well will! You know why? Because i'm fucking ENGLISH and i'm fucking proud to be ENGLISH, and i want to support my fucking country in the god damn world cup. Who the fuck do these people think they are telling us we can't have national fucking pride in our own fucking country?!? I don't give a damn if you're not english but still live in england. I don't fucking care. But no fucking way am i gonna sit back and say it's alright for people to say that i can't fly the flag of my country INSIDE my own fucking country because i MIGHT OFFEND SOMEONE WHO LIVES HERE AND ISNT ENGLISH. What the fuck is with that? They can fly their own fucking flags. I'm not gonna stop them. So why the fuck should they stop us?

Eamples that make me angry:

1) Taxi drivers apparently aren't allowed to wear england shirts in case they 'offend foreign visitors'
2) Some 2yr old kid was ordered to remove his england shirt when having lunch IN AN ENGLISH FUCKING PUB!

FUCK RIGHT OFF!!!
If you've got a problem with england showing national pride during the god damn world cup then get the fuck out of england. Now if you'll excuse me i'm going to go and put my england shirt on and paint a huge banner to hang outside. Cunts!

Gay! A gay gay. Gay gay gay. Gay.

I SOLEMNLY SWEAR TO LEARN TO SCHLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP SCHLEEP SCHLEEEEEEEPY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tomorrow i will write 4000 words of highly knowledgeable, informative reasearching research gay gay university workage.
Don't you try and stop me now - I mean BUSINESS!!

I can hear the moth.
I can sense the moth.
And yet i cannot see the moth.
Naughty moth!

Supernanny rocks my world (Which until recently has been 'totally un-asseptable!')

Dear God am i bored or what?! Lame, lame, lame! I think i'm tired.

"Oh!....Sugarplums and naan cakes!"


If you see my girlfriend tell her i love her.......

I had a random thought the other day. Which was - "How long would it take for everybody on earth to tell their story?"

I am now strangely fascinated by this question which is upsetting because there's no way to determine the answer. Best you can do is estimate how long it would take somebody to tell their story (being their real story not just 'I did this, i did that' but their motivations and emotions behind it), and then times that by the current world population. But that doesn't take into account a lot of other things. Like - How many people can't talk? Or are younger and so have a shorter story to tell? But then you could always give a time slot i guess. Most people would be able to fill it. Ego and all that. But yeah - how many people are too young to talk? Or can't talk for other reasons? Plus the population changes every second (Which is damn scary - I am never gonna watch that population clock again *Shudders*), so really it's impossible.

I asked Ste what he thought of my question. He likes it too. He estimated it would take him 3 hours to do his story justice. I can't imagine talking about myself for three hours.

How long would it take you to tell yours?

Sometimes i feel people take things a little too far.
Case in hand - Energy drinks!

They come in cans you know.
Theres no need to be dramatic about it is there?
Stick the drink in a can - Give it a name - Label it as an energy drink - Sell it, yes?
NO!
Someone always has to take it that little bit further.
And then you end up with *Drum roll please*..........."RELENTLESS"!! *Insert evil villain laugh here*

http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f354/tocopherol/Stupid.jpg

Oh yes, thats right - It's a 'gothic' style energy drink. For all those people too hardcore for just an average Red Bull.
Now i could probably let it slide. Even though it looks ridiculous. But they had to take it even further by writing ridiculous things on it didn't they?

Such as:
"Your energy, Your obsession, Relentless"
To quote 'Withnail' - "What the fuck are you talking about?"

Even worse is the little bit they have written on the back:
"Even genius has to pay it's dues,
It's goodbye to the shortcuts, hello to the grind.
Nobody ever said it would be an easy ride.
So, push more, risk more, feel more.
How much is just a question of courage.
A matter of the heart"

WTF?!?! IT'S AN ENERGY DRINK FOR CHRISSAKES!! Not a god damn life motto!

Bloody weirdo's!

P.S - It tastes like shit!